The Mad Hooker's Brothel

Jumping into comics

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 13:33:38 GMT

Welcome to the review site that me and a couple of buddies have put up. Feel free to check it out.

http://jumpingintocomics.blogspot.com/

Hercules

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 02:44:04 GMT

Hercules
Written by Frank Tieri
Art by Mark Texeira

Hercules 1
Hercules: The New Labors part 1

Gordon Allsworth is a producer for a Hercules series on tv, and he’s upset about how poor the production is. However, when his boss, Mister Stone, tells him that people don’t want to hear how great the heroes are. They want tales of fallen heroes. They want a tale of Hercules being at the funeral following Disassembled. (Note this is the second instance of Disassembled, a crappy story, being used for good stories. Bendis should pay attention.)

At the funeral for Vision, Ant-Man, Jack of Hearts and Hawkeye, Hercules showed up very drunk, rattling on about how horrible the Avengers are treating Thor. Turns out, none of them know that Thor is dead, but Hercules, as a god, does. And he is pissed that the Avengers are not including Thor in the funeral. As Hercules grabs the Beast, Iron Man goes to help. Brushing him off, he listens to Captain America and unhands the Beast. Now granted, he did this by throwing the Beast into Cap and Iron Man, but he at least did as he was told. The next scenes is people reacting to the carnage with the line “He’s knocking over the coffins! Somebody stop him!”

On tv, Captain America talks about the Avengers being disbanded. Hercules throws a chair into the tv, talking about how disassembling was for lesser teams, like those worthless x-people. Hercules decides that he’s going to form his own Avengers team, that’ll show them all! The bouncer comes up to him and asks him to leave. Herk puts the bouncer through the wall. The bartender gets upset but says that she puts up with it because Herk pays in solid gold coins. The camera claims that he’s Kevin Smith to try to pick up a girl. It seems to working well.

Hercules proceeds to tell the bartender of his great labors that he completed due to his pittance for killing his wife and children. Finishing his story, Herk goes to use the restroom. As he stands at the urinal, another man covered from head to toe walks in. “Your plight is both flattering and understandable however, ‘tis not happening.” Cute.

The man knocks Hercules through the bathroom door. The man turns out to be Achelous, a minor river god, who finishes off Hercules. As Achelous drags Herk to a limo, the mastermind behind this turns out to be Eurystheus, the man responsible for Hercules’ first labors.

A good issue, and another issue that deals wonderful with the aftermath of Disassembled, much better than the actual Avengers ever did.

Hercules 2
The New Labors of Hercules part 2 (yes, they changed the title)
Eurystheus recounts his origin. He was out to kill all of Hercules’ relatives, but he was captured, and Herk’s mom plucked out his eyes and then cut off his head. Normally, that’s all there is, but Hera brought him back to life, and Eurystheus sewed his head back on. He’s spent a very long time figuring out the best way to get rich, and he’s done just that. He wants to make Hercules look good, just because Hercules is making him look bad by comparison. His plan? Hercules is going to repeat the twelve labors, but now in the Marvel Universe as we know it. Hercules agrees.

Hermes runs into an office building to tell Zeus what’s going on. Zeus, of course, has just finished.... dictation... with an attractive mortal.

Seriously, that was everything that happened in this issue, but it was very solid. Part one of this showed that Herk hitting rock bottom, and now we have how he can redeem himself. Next few issues will be fast action, I promise.

Hercules 3
The New Labors of Hercules part 3

A quick recap of the last issue. Hercules smacks down a T-Rex, obviously in the Savage Land. Apparently, he was supposed to capture a sabertooth tiger. He was a bit off. Turns out, the first task is supposed to mirror Herk fighting the Nemean Lion. He goes into the clearing (and there is a funny joke about “Chico’s Bail Bonds... someone likes the Bad News Bears..) And tosses out Zabu. Ka-Zar and Shanna shows up, but nothing comes of it.

Labor 2: Herk had to take down the Hydra. Well, the modern day equivalent is of course, the crime organization, Hydra.

This one didn’t take long. But there was a mechanical hydra that blew up before Hercules touched it. This was very easy.

Labor 3: Herk had to capture the Erymanthian Boar.

This time, he had to he had to kidnap Lockjaw.

Labor 4: He had to get the Cerynean Hind.

This time, he had to take down the Dragon Man. After handcuffing himself to Dragon Man, Dragon Man flew away, dragging Hercules around. Dragon Man eventually took a nap and Herk won!

Labor 5: He had to stop the Harpies.

Here, he had to stop Attuma. He did so. And Attuma took over a retirement village in Florida.

Labor 6: He had to clean out the stable of King Augeas and deal with horrid smells.

This time, he had to deal with the Red Dust of the Red Skull. He got high and wanted some White Castles. That one was taken care of.

Herk is down, mostly because he stumbled his way through his labors, only a few he did any real good in. That is until he talked to his camera man. James told him that in order to succeed, you have to be good and lucky. Thus far, he had been lucky, now was the time to be good.

Labor 7: Herk had to beat down the Cretan Bull.

Hercules vs. Abomination. Abomination discusses how badly he’s going to beat on Herk. Hercules takes a swing with a light post and takes Abomination down. “Next time, less talking and more fighting.”

Elsewhere, Hera gives Eurystheus the final four tasks.

This issue was fun, and served it’s purpose well. Thus far, there hasn’t been a filler issue, and since there is only two left, it’s not looking like we’re going to have one.

Hercules 4
The New Labors of Hercules part 4

It starts off with Zeus having a meeting with the board of Olympians. “I have one fault.” “Mortal women?” “It’s gotta be mortal women...” Turns out he brought the gods here so that they don’t lose touch with the mortals and have the same fate befall them that befell the Asgardians. Anyway, they vote, and decide not to intervene on Hercules’ behalf. He’s gonna be doing this all on his own.

Labor 8: Herk had to beat Diomedes and his man eating mares.

Now, Hercules has to take down the Mole Man and four monsters like the one that took on the Fantastic Four back in their first issue. Hercules beats them, and then labor is done.

Labor 9: Herk had to get the Golden Girdle of the Amazons.

Now, he has to get Captain America’s shield. Cap apologizes to Hercules about their actions back in issue one, and about how they have more in common then most would think. They are both old soldiers in an era they didn’t make. So Hercules knocks him out and takes the shield. Wolverine shows up. “The Avengers hath reassembled? Then that would mean they let $%^&** Wolverine on the team and not Hercules?” Then he runs through Wolverine, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, and Iron Man. As he leaves “Wolverine... hmph.” My thoughts exactly.

Labor 10: He had yo steal the red cattle from Geryon.

Here, he took a Doombot... or was it the real Doom? Hard to say, but it implies the latter.

Labor 11: Had to get the Golden apples from the tree of Hesperides

Now, he had to steal the Shield Helicarrier. As he’s dragging it away, someone wakes up Nick Fury. “Wake me up if he takes us someplace good.”

The last labor is the hardest yet. The original labor had Herk going to capture Cerberus from the gates of Hades. Now, he has to return... only now, he has to get forgiveness from his wife for killing her and their children.

Damn, that sets up the last issue wonderfully, and I didn’t see this coming. This mini series is coming along fantastically.

Hercules 5
The New Labors of Hercules part 5

Herk is back in the bar. The bartender says that he’s had five kegs. Gordon has been hard on Herk all series, we find out why now. Hercules was his hero, and he wants Herk to be a great hero again. Hercules goes to find Pluto, who is calling himself Hades again. He’s now the lord of the Underworld and the mafia. It only fits for his character. Hades would allow Herk to enter the underworld but only on a condition that Hades gets a favor later. We never find out what, but it could be interesting.

In the underworld, Herk beats up on Cerberus again. His wife appears, and says that all of Herk’s actions have been to try to forget her. “And you, happy-go-lucky Hercules are anything but. After all, nobody gets that drunk.” She gives Hercules a flower to prove that she forgives him. But it’s obvious that Hercules doesn’t forgive himself.

Hera of course was in charge of Hercules when he killed his loved ones, but it doesn’t matter to Hercules. He tricks Eurystheus and the river god to kill each other. They had killed the lights, but Herk’s camera crew had turned on the light on the camera to get Hercules the advantage.

At the post wrap party, it’s discovered that the bartender is now dating Hercules, after turning down Wolverine. However, Hercules isn’t at the party. He’s at the grave of his wife and kids.

Wonderful story, but there is only one problem I have, what is Hades going to have Hercules do? This was the only thing that hurt this series. I LOVED this series, it was damned solid, and had few flaws in it.

Over all rating 9 out of 10.

This next week, we deal with Identity Crisis followed by the new miniseries springing from it. That’s right, a week of DC.

The Guardians

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 02:41:44 GMT

Guardians
Written by Marc Sumerak
Art by Casey Jones

Guardians 1
Reach for the Stars Part 1

If you haven’t heard of this one, it was a miniseries that Marvel put out in 2003. It was supposed to be an ongoing, but it was made into a mini to see how it did. I’m assuming it hasn’t done well at all, because I’ve not heard of continuing it. Which is sad, because this series was really cool. I’m also assuming that this world is not based in the real Marvel Universe, but one in which there still exists the same aliens (Skrulls, Sh’iar, etc.) Trust me, this becomes important later.

It starts off “Then” which seems about ten years earlier, maybe fifteen, it’s hard to say. Vince and Nick Armstrong’s parents are fighting. Vince, the younger brother, goes to the window and sees a shooting star that landed not too far away. So he gathers his friends, the tomboyish Charlie, the wannabe doctor, Martin, and the leg brace wearing, Jimmy. Nick and the rest get into an argument, and he decides to leave, and runs right into a cloaked spaceship.

The group sees a doberman attack a small alien. They end up saving the alien, and introduce themselves as the Guardians, appointed protectors of the earth. The alien, Dre’kk, leaves, he gives the Guardians a triangular totem, and promises that he’ll be back if he needs help. Nick doesn’t think that anyone will believe them, but Nick knows they would because of the amulet. (Note, this is why I believe that this can’t be in the real Marvel Universe. Everyone sees aliens all the time any more.

Flash forward to now. Vince is in a therapy session, and everyone believes that he’s crazy. And to make matters better, it’s his birthday! Happy birthday, psycho boy!

Nick comes to pick up Vince. Apparently, Nick has a wife and a baby now. Good for him. Apparently, Nick is in therapy for beating the hell out of a TA. Dude, we’ve all wanted to just beat the hell out of one, but it’s really not proper. Nick doesn’t believe that the alien thing happened, he just believes that it was just a massive hallucination. Like those happen, really....

Nick leads Vince to his surprise party.... and it’s only Jimmy. Worst surprise party ever. Jimmy still believes in the incident. Good for him, crazy people need friends too.

Jimmy plays X-Box, and Nick leaves, Vince hangs out for a long while by himself. That’s when Charlie appears. Charlie reveals that she and Vince dated. But when Vince wouldn’t let go of the encounter, Charlie did and they broke up over it. Brad, the new boyfriend picks her up, and Vince launches the little amulet into the fire.

Meanwhile, in space, Dre’kk escapes from his enemies and tries to return to earth.

Over all, this issue was fantastic, and hooked me completely. It wasn’t promoted, but the concept was so solid, that I find myself eager to read the next issue. And since it’s next to me, it won’t be hard.

Guardians 2
Reach for the Stars Part 2

Martin, Jimmy, and Vince are a diner. Martin is pre-med now, and he’s become addicted to coffee. Not important to the part, but it happened. Turns out that Jimmy’s family is a military one. “The Yon family is built on proud military tradition” but Jimmy’s leg is bum, and he can’t go into the army. His father is disappointed in him. Vince reveals to his friends that he has given up on the encounter and nothing more than a dream. Though he doesn’t say it, Martin seems to be in disbelief as well. As he leaves, Vince gives the cook a note for Charlie.

In space, Dre’kk’s guards chase after him to earth.

On Earth, Vince works in an observatory. While there, he notices a ship enter the atmosphere, and runs off to find Charlie. While he’s talking to Charlie, Brad comes up and punches him, thinking he was attacking Charlie. No matter how much I like Vince, it’s hard to root against Brad. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just not Vince. Damn it when things are black and white!

Vince calls Nick and gets him to come see his younger brother.

Meanwhile, Brad and Charlie are at Passion Point and things are about to reach the obvious conclusion, when they see a spaceship, and Charlie realizes that Vince was right, and she has Brad take her home.

Turns out that Nick got the others together and they go with Charlie to the spot they first met Dre’kk. Only, Dre’kk isn’t there. Some big ol’ alien is there, and he’s got Vince by the throat. Things ain’t looking too good for Vince now.

This issue was a bit of a let down after last issue, but ti was still a solid issue.

The Guardians 3
Reach for the Stars part 3

Vince gets thrown into Nick, taking them both out. As the other three start to run, Jimmy’s leg gives out. Martin wants to go back to save him, but Charlie can’t do this. As Martin tries to save Jimmy, they end up looking down the barrel of a nasty looking gun. The alien drops down dead, and Dre’kk reveals himself as the reason why. Turns out that Dre’kk is looking for the Guardians, but he doesn’t recognize them all grown up. Turns out that Dre’kk wants the amulet, but whoops, it was destroyed back in issue 1. Uh oh!

Turns out that it was a information disc and not a medal like Dre’kk claimed. But Jimmy thinks he can get some information out of it. Because he could... y’know progam video games. Yeah, that sounds like a solid plan. No logical gaps there. But hey, if we’re forced to buy this, I guess I can. But it’s knocking the book down a bit.

Vince decides that since he’s partly responsible for this mess, he’ll go. Jimmy decides to stay with his friend and go into space as well. Martin refuses to let those two save the world without him, so he tags along and volunteers Charlie for the job. Nick isn’t going, his life is on earth, and he’s got a good one. Vince understands.

As they leave, Martin tells Charlie be brought her along to prove herself to everyone. With that, issue 3 comes to an end.

Another good issue, but the part about Jimmy being able to run alien tech marks this down for me. Like an entire point by the end of the issue. Just wait and see.

Guardians 4
Reach for the Stars 4

As Nick gets home, he sees a report about Charlie missing, and Brad is the chief suspect. If this was allowed to go on, expect this to be a bigger story. As it is, it’s not as cool as it might be.

Turns out, the space suits Dre’kk brought for the gang doesn’t fit. Mostly because it was meant for their younger selves. Oops.

Vince and Charlie share a moment, but Charlie says she’s happy with Brad, and that she and Vince can’t do anything, no matter how she may feel.

The Alliance captures the ship in a tractor beam. They trick the aliens onboard so that they could sneak onto the aliens’ ship. However, Jimmy forgot the information disc and went back for it. That’s when he was held up by an alien who makes the big mistake of giving up his advantage of having a gun. It’s a distance weapon, but he got too close to Jimmy who elbowed him down and took off.

However, he ran into the second alien, and as he’s about to be killed, Charlie takes them both out with a lead pipe. When they get back to the big ship, the other three had taken out another alien. Another alien in a battle suit showed up, and Martin took him down with a stun gun.

As Dre’kk contains the enemies, Jimmy gets into the battlesuit. They take off to take the fight to the Alliance, and yet in that final panel, I count two floating aliens. Who look a lot like the ones that Dre’kk contained. Could it be that the Guardians aren’t working for the good guys after all?

Guardians 5
Reach for the Stars part 5

Dre’kk sends the Guardians unto the main ship alone, so he could teleport them out later. They are supposed to surround a power source and teleport it back to the ship.

The Guardians end up teleported into a mess hall full of enemies. Dre’kk needs to improve that. Jimmy and his battle suit covers the exit, while the other three run on. “The Yon family is built on proud military tradition, remember?” So is this a sacrifice, or is Jimmy going to see them again? Guess we’ll see in a few pages.

The transmitters are blocked, leaving the kids on their own. As a door opens, Jimmy appears down cast. He thinks he killed some of the aliens and feels awful about it. They make it to the power source, but three more aliens arrive, two in battle suits and one who speaks English. They capture Vince, who tells the others to take the source and leave.

Dre’kk is ready to leave, but Jimmy won’t let him. He promises to kill Dre’kk if they don’t rescue Vince.

Meanwhile, in jail, Vince is being told about how awful his side is by a Skrull. The other blow a whole in the ship, and Vince sees his life flash before his eyes, and gets teleported onto the main ship. He’s ready to go home, but since they made the rescue, the Alliance would not be willing to just let them go. So they have to stay in space in order to make sure that the earth is safe.

Vince leaves a message to Nick about what’s going on with them. Nick drops the newspaper, hoping they get home soon, because Brad was arrested for the disappearance of Charlie. And here is the next logical fallacy. The paper reports that a alien body was found. Two things with this. One, that would be the top story, not Charlie. Secondly, wouldn’t you draw the connection between the alien and Charlie missing? It seems logical that you would assume the alien had something to do with Charlie.

The last page showed the Dre’kk had them steal an anti-matter detonator. He seems evil to me.... sadly, this is the last issue. There is no six.

Nice cliffhanger, but hello, there is more to this story. Too many plot holes, and we probably won’t see them finished.

Due to that, and the Jimmy being a genius with alien tech, this series only gets a 7.

But if you can get past all fo that, it’s a 9 easy. I recommend this more than GLA or Gravity. It’s something different, and it’s very good. I just want more, dang it!

Next time: The latest Hercules miniseries.

Green Lantern: Rebirth

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 01:46:06 GMT

Green Lantern: Rebirth
Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Ethan Van Sciver

Green Lantern: Rebirth 1
Blackest Night

First of all, I don’t think this issue represents the blackest night, but that’s just me. It should be noted going into this, I’m not a fan of Hal Jordan. I like Kyle, I like John Stewert, I like Guy Gardner, but I don’t like Hal one bit. He was dead and should stay dead. That being said, I bought this series just for Ollie Queen. He’s one of my favorite characters, though I think he should stay dead as well.

This story is told from Kyle’s perspective, and it shows him crash landing to open up. It has a name. I hope it’s “Leroy” I’ve always liked that name.

On Ferris Airbase, some chick named Carol is there, talking about how it was good times. She finds Hal’s old airplane. Uhmm.. Yay?

Next scene is Guy and John at a ball game. One of my favorite scenes in the entire book, and definitely in the first issue. Guy says that he doesn’t miss the ring anymore, apparently forgetting that he does have a ring from Giffen’s run later on. I’ll forgive it, because I’ve always liked Guy Gardner: Warrior. Hal shows up to attend the game, when everyone in the area starts to admit their sins to him. Guy cheated on his taxes, I am not surprised.

STAR CITY! Mia and Ollie are getting ready to go out and fight crime, when the Black Hand comes in to steal the power ring that Hal left for Ollie waaaay back in issue 18 or so of Green Arrow. I like continuity! Hal turns Black Hand’s hand into coal. I think it’s funny, apparently Ollie doesn’t. Oh well, he can’t be super cool all the time.

Meanwhile, at the Warriors’ Guy blows up. That has to be bad for him.

Coast City is back, apparently. Good for it.

Next scene is that of Hector Hammond. This is something you can ignore, he doesn’t make another appearance until issue six, and then it’s not important.

In the Watchtower, Martian Manhunter, Batman, Superman, John and Doctor Midnight work on Guy.

Wonder Woman and the JSA are exploring the wreckage of the bar, and they find that Hal’s statue is still standing. Batman seems pissed about this. But lately, he’s been pissed about everything. Coast City isn’t back, just Hal’s old apartment. I guess he wanted to go home again. I missed something kind of important later, Sentinel (though he’s been called Green Lantern himself, just can’t remember when he did this) is feeling ill. You’ll see why later, I promise.

John says that without fear, Batman is just a man. Take that you damned crybaby billionaire! This scene needs less John and more Ollie.

Hal goes to see Carol, and I realize I still don’t care.

Do you like Hal Jordan? This issue is for you. Are you like me and don’t have the first idea what’s going on? I hope you like monkeys. It won’t help you understand the book better, but monkeys are cool.

Green Lantern: Rebirth 2
Enemies Within

Based on their this title, I say someone ate a bad burrito.

Good news, Parallax is coming. Kyle’s ring says so. Green Lanterns always confuse me. Damned talking rings.

We get a long scene of Carol and Hal talking. Apparently, Carol’s dad owned airplanes, and Hal’s dad flew them. And Hal’s dad died. It seems very sad. However, I don’t really care much.

Now we get Green Arrow, and my interest has popped back up. However, as Zatanna finds Hal, Batman makes Ollie stay on the Watchtower as a back up plan. I bet he’s still mad that Ollie punched him way back in the early issues of the new GA series. Batman is a dick.

Green Lantern (Alan Scott) has a fever. Seriously, this is explained later and not just a throw away line, I promise.

The JLA accuse Hal of making Coast City come back and hurting Guy. But Hal says he didn’t. Batman doesn’t believe him and John wigs out. He beats the living heck out of the JLA, and when Hal tries to interfere, the Spectre makes him leave.

In the Watchtower, Arrow’s ring replicates itself, and Guy gets the power of the Green Lantern again. Guy blows up the Watchtower. Again. Damn, you’d think these people could protect their base better than that. Why even bother to rebuild it? Sheesh.

Kilowog, who I was fairly certain was dead, shows up to fight Kyle. One of the blue Guardian guys show up and threaten Kilowog saying that Hal’s body is under his protection. I am so confused.

Ollie has a Green Lantern ring! I already knew that. And John beat up the JLA, about damned time.... this issue hurt my head. This needed less Hal and more Ollie. As does nearly everything in life.

Green Lantern: Rebirth 3
Yellow

I just wanna yell the name of this. YELLOW! Now the cat is looking at me strange... oh well.

Ganthet, the little blue dude, fights Kilowog. Parallax tells Hal that they recreated Coast City. Hal and the Spectre and Parallax fights over Hal’s body.... Or something...

Kyle and Ollie end up talking, and this is the most impressive bit for me. Apparently Parallax is a thing, that is the yellow embodiment of fear. And it was stuck in the GL Power battery on Oa. Apparently, it hit inside Hal. If this makes sense to anyone, please let me know what the heck it’s talking about. This scene needs less Kyle and more Ollie. As does most things in life.

Apparently Hal lost the fight, and Parallax gets control of the body. Good for it.

Kyle and Ollie are attacked by Sinestro, who I thought was dead, but I thought a lot of people were dead. Apparently they were only temporarily dead. Gotta love comics.

Cool scene at the end with Sinestro shooting yellow arrows. I liked it.

Green Lantern: Rebirth 4
Force of Will

This cover is kick ass! Ollie has the ring on, standing over Kyle defending him! This is what the damned book needs! More Ollie less nonOllie people!

A cool fight with Sinestro and Kyle. And then little blue dude saves Kilowog and then Guy and John. Then the various heroes show up to fight Parallax. This section needs less Kilowog and more Ollie. And yes, I know Ollie isn’t at this scene, but I would allow it.

Sinestro is kicking Kyle’s butt, when Ollie shows up and makes an arrow with the ring! This is officially my second favorite part of the entire series. Ollie kicks ass.... somewhat. Apparently that’s all the force of will he has. Then Kyle saves him.

While Alan Scott saves fight Parallax, Parallax says he tried to take over Alan like he did the other GL. Thus, explaining the fever and what not. Hal rips away from Parallax and the Spectre leaves. This is gonna be big later, I promise. Hal’s soul goes back to his body, in what is another cool scene, and reclaims the ring that Ollie wears.

Ollie damn well better get a new ring. Bastard Jordan steals crap again. I hate him soooo much.

Green Lantern: Rebirth 5
Rings

And cool font on the title this time. I liked it. This book is second best just for the font. Huge fight between Hal and Sinestro. Kyle comes in to make the save with GREEN ARROWS! He says the Ollie said hi. The two of them beat down on Sinestro who disappears into a pocket dimension. We get a cool official meeting of the two Green Lanterns, and Hal leads Kyle back to earth to fight Parallax. Parallax sensed a worshiper of fear. It’s Batman of course. Apparently, Parallax took over the little blue dude. I must’ve missed that. Oh well.

Hal and Kyle tell the other GL to fear, and then they can beat Parallax. Suddenly, Batman throws a batarang around Hal and tells him that as long as he’s around, Hal isn’t doing anything.

Cool thing there at the end. I know what you’re thinking “He’s going to say ‘Needs less Guy and more Ollie.’” That’s wrong. Everything needs MORE Guy. This issue would be nice to at least have SOME Ollie in it though.

Green Lantern: Rebirth 6
Brightest Day

Page two has my favorite scene in the entire series. Hal knocks Batman out with one punch. Guy was great in this. “Did you see that? One punch.” If you read Giffen and DeMatteis JLI, you’d have loved that too. If you don’t get the joke, it’s not as cool. But I do, and it’s hysterical.

Just as the JLA is about to go into action, Alan Scott stops them. Good for Alan.

The fight is pretty cool, it shows how each Green Lantern uses his ring, and it’s all quite different. None of the energy is quite the same as they all think in different ways. Another major point for this book. And then when they say the Oath, I got a chill. “In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape our sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware our power, Green Lantern’s light!”

After the fight, Guy kisses his ring and John says that he thought Guy didn’t miss it. Guy says that he lied. Batman and Hal have a face to face, and Batman walks away saying “I suppose this universe needs a little more light anyway.” Another good line. This issue is great.

Hammond is back... really I don’t get it. Carol is talking to Hal and I’m bored.

Ollie gives Hal back the power battery and says that he still can’t remember the oath. Hal says he’ll never forget it. End series.

Last issue needs more Ollie. But it’s the best of the bunch. I only have one question left. Where is G’Nort, he’s a Green Lantern, dang it!

Over all: If you like Hal, this is your story. You just want to see a kick ass fight, issue 6 is the one you want. Great fight. Issue 6 raised this from being a 5 to a 6 over all.

Grade: 6 out of ten.

Best moments:
3. John and Guy at the ball game.
2. Ollie using the ring
1. Batman being knocked down by Hal.

Tomorrow: Guardians

Gravity

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 02:29:49 GMT

Gravity
Written by Sean McKeever
Art by Mike Norton

Gravity 1
Big City Superhero

We are introduced to our hero, Greg Willis. He’s fresh from Wisconsin, trying to adjust to life in New York, and trying to find his place as a student and as a hero. He refers to “the Accident” but we don’t find out what it was. A fun thing they do in this series is in the back ground, having heroes flying around. In this case, it’s Iron Man.

As Greg talks to his councilor, (He wants to be in property management, obviously based off Gravity) Rage and an unidentified black man rips through the wall. As Greg gets his gear on, he thinks about networking and getting a team invite. As he’s getting dressed, Rage has already won the fight. Not that it stops Gravity from taking the fight.... right to Rage. The man in black gets up, smacks Gravity around, and takes off, leaving Gravity with a very angry Rage.

Rage berates Gravity for letting Black Death get away, and accuses Gravity of being racist. “I gotta be the bad guy ‘cause I’m black!” Buddy, have you not seen yourself lately? Hell, if I didn’t know you were the bad guy, I would’ve attacked your ass too. Stop wearing those damned spikes already!

Greg later meets up with his new roommate “Frog” who is very excitable. Turns out that Frog is into heroes big time, and tells Gravity about Rage and Black Death. Greg does decline to go partying with Frog.

On his first night on the job, Gravity helps a man steal a car (it was an accident), save a woman from death, but she gets upset, he stops a man from being mugged and is threatened to be sued, and then the Thing blows him off. All in all, this night has sucked.

He helps an old woman who lost her medicine. And she had the best line of the book. She talked about his wonderful costume, “Superheroes these days, you can’t tell if they’re the good people or not, with all that armor and those pointy shoulder pads....” Beautiful and exactly what I was thinking about Rage!

Anyway, she has an apparent heart attack, and Gravity flies around desperately trying to find a hospital. He lucks out and finds an ambulance who was on the way to the hospital, and she gets some medical help.

However, waiting on her, he’s late, and ends up running into a cute girl who races him to class. End the first issue.

This is a perfect start to this series. Small town hero tries to do good, but fails, and it ends up costing him some personal stuff. Wonderfully written, and a fun story.

Gravity 2
Friends and Enemies

The girl has a name now, Lauren Singh, and she “rocked” Greg’s world. However, while eating with her, he notices the Rhino destroying the downtown area. It didn’t take long for him to whip up on Rhino. And that makes me sad really. When did Rhino become the whipping boy of the MU? Heck, even in the Blue Cyclone’s first run, I had him beat up on the Rhino.

Greg reads about his exploit in the Bugle, and is confused about why they thought he was an X-Man. However, he meets up with the Greenwich Guardian. “Good guy or bad guy?” They arrange to have a patrol together... like a study date... how sweet....

Greg turns Frog down again, and Frog is getting angry. I can see that.

Lauren wants to take Greg to see Showgirls... why don’t I know any girls like that? Damn him and his fictional life! Of course, he has to turn her down because of his study date with GG. “I bet Spider-Man never had problems like this.” I love that, using Spidey as a staple... guilty of doing that in BC myself.

Guardian points out that Gravity’s insignia looks like an X. They go on patrol, and have a grand time. However, the good times end when Black Death show up.

This issue was fun, but not as fun as issue one. But it’s a wonderful read, and you should find the book, seriously.

Gravity 3
What Goes Up

In this issue, Gravity gets his ass kicked by Black Death.

While studying with Lauren, she thinks that Greg was mugged. He professes that the bad people has already won in the town.

Frog asks Greg out to another party, but Greg lays into him. Some friend he’s being.

Greg basically quits being Gravity, he finds life is just harder than he thought. That was until Lauren showed up at his dorm and demanded that he gets a shower and dressed. She takes him to a mariana, just like his parents own, and then to her room. They are just about to kiss, when Spider-Man shows up fighting Jack O Lantern. But he decides to stay with the girl and not play hero. I know that would be my choice.

In short, this was an issue about him giving up, and he didn’t. I really liked this. This is what Ultimate Spider-Man should be. He’s trying hard, and it’s just not enough. We’ve all been there. And then we struggle on, because we need to.

Gravity 4
Priorities

When we pick up the story, Greg hasn’t been Gravity in two weeks, when the Guardian calls for him. He convinces Gravity to steal a piece of tech that Black Death is after. Hmm, that seems suspicious.

Since he blew off his date with Lauren, she broke up with him, so he threw himself into his life as Gravity. However, since he stopped going to class, he was failing everything. He talked his prof into giving him a break. In turn, his prof told him to take a break.

He asks Frog if he could go to a party, and Frog is more than happy to take him. He sees Lauren at the party, and runs off, Frog chasing after him. That’s when Frog sees the Guardian, and says that the Guardian hadn’t been seen in a couple of years. VERY Interesting....

Turns out the equipment that Gravity stole was a graviton trap, and the Guardian turned out to be Black Death!

Neatly sets up the next issue. A big fight is coming, I’m fairly certain. Guess we’ll see who wins....

Gravity 5
Chewed Up and Spit Out

We finally get a chance to see the Accident. It’s dull, really.

Black Death starts to destroy campus, when Gravity stopped the machine. After Gravity stops Black Death in a somewhat cliched fight, he vanishes. Spider-Man shows up, and recognizes Gravity’s insignia. It’s the sign of gravity... nice touch, especially since Spidey WOULD know what it was.

As he’s about to leave, Lauren tells him that he’s no quitter. A nice little montage followed, and I didn’t think that could happen in a comic.... I was wrong.

A solid ending, and I’m eager for more Gravity books, but I don’t think it’s coming. It was a wonderful read, and I highly recommend it to anyone.

Tomorrow night, Green Lantern: Rebirth... I bought it for Green Arrow.

GLA

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 03:06:34 GMT

GLA
Written by Dan Slott
Art by Paul Pelletier

GLA 1
Great Lakes Avengers Disassembled

The cover is a mock up of the New Avengers cover, with the characters in the background. Mister Immortal is being struck by lightning. Wonderful stuff.

Starts off with Squirrel Girl giving us the Marge Simpson thing before the Halloween Specials. “Bad stuff happens here, you’ve been warned” bit. Grasshopper shows up and says that most of the readers of this book aren’t children but overweight men in their thirties living in their parents’ basement. We also get our first glimpse of Monkey Joe Says... Wonderful start for a book.

We start with Mister Immortal shooting himself on July 13th at 5:28 P.M. The End of Everything. In the background, Flatman is being pulled into a portal, his hands around Big Bertha. This is the basic origin story of Mister Immortal and it involves Deathurge. Monkey Joe says child endangerment isn’t funny, but I have to disagree.

Immortal’s life has sucked. Everyone he’s loved has died, so he decided to jump to his death. That didn’t work, so he tried other ways to kill himself, needless to say, he’s a slow learner. Monkey Joe says that we should be happy with life and eat more nuts.

So after a disastrous first attempt at stopping a bank, Mr. I decided the best way to get this done is to form a team. So he puts in a want ad, and the Great Lakes Avengers apply, plus Leather Boy, who has no leather powers, he just misread the ad.

The team is in shambles, and anytime they try to get anywhere in their GLA Quin-Jetta (Monkey Joe says that a little product placement never hurt.) They find that “real” heroes have taken care of the problem, so they see themselves as jokes.

However, just when Mr. I was about to throw in the towel, Disassembled happened. “This’s awesome! We’re the Avengers now!” Glad someone liked that story arc...

They come up on Maelstrom trying to steal some “ten ton doohickey” but disaster happens, when Dinah Soar is killed. Once again, someone Mr. I loves is killed. And Monkey Joe warns us that next issue another member dies!

Overall, this issue was bad ass. I LOVE the GLA, and this issue, while making me sad over the death of Dinah, really gave a human touch to the characters. See Bendis, this is how you kill a character and make it mean something.

GLA 2
Dismembership Drive

Squirrel Girl appears again, this time to give a scathing reminder of a time when comic books were light hearted and happy. “Something to escape to, not from.” She warns us not to do anything Mr. I does in the comic, especially when he downloads stuff illegally from the internet. Monkey Joe says that stealing is bad, and if you download Marvel comics, they can sue you blind.

This story is told by Flatman, and it starts at Dinah Soar’s funeral. “I’m a Great Lakes Avengers and in the vast scheme of things, no one cares if we live or die.” Rather depressing start, no?

Deathurge shows up at Dinah’s funeral, which causes Mr. I to attack him. Of course, since the other three members of the team can’t see Deathurge, they assume that Craig has just lost his mind.

Elsewhere, Maelstrom is needing lackeys, and since his general ones aren’t available he calls Batroc the Leaper and his buddies.

Ashley realizes that she’s being wasted as a model is Wisconsin, and starts to question whether her ties to the GLA is worth her pathetic pay.

Back at base, Mister Immortal is downloading “One is the loneliest number” over and over again. 57 times, actually. Monkey Joe says “Friends don’t let friends play the Magnolia soundtrack.” Solid advice.

Doorman and Flatman decide to go to New York to recruit new members, where we meet Grasshopper who is a hero and a security guard for Roxxon. He runs into Batroc and his gang and takes the fight to them.

Flatman tries to recruit Swordsman onto the team, certain that is Hawkeye, because he read it on the internet. “I’m a mind controlled killer who could gut you at any moment!” “We’re not picky.” Priceless.

What follows is just about every hero in the city turning them down, from big namers like Wonder Man and Hercules all the way down to Captain Ultra and Brother Voodoo. When Ultra says no, you know you’ve hit a new bottom.

Wait, the next page, they get mugged, and Squirrel Girl comes in with Monkey Joe to rescue them. They ask her to join, and she says yes. These four then find Grasshopper in battle, and join in. They recruit him to the team, and within five panels he’s killed by Zaran. Monkey Joe says “Five point eight seconds, a new record...”

Doorman decides that the team sucks. Big time. And he’s right.

At the end of everything, Val decides that maybe the most heroic thing he can do, as he sucks Bertha into the portal with him, is just to let go, and he does.

Monkey Joe says that another member of the team dies next issue. And it better not be Squirrel Girl, that’s all he’s saying.

GLA 3
Mistaken Identity Crisis

Love the title just to start off.

Bertha and Squirrel Girl discuss the cavalier way in which women are raped and killed, a not so subtle blast at Identity Crisis.

Big Bertha is in charge of narration with this comic. She talks about how she is a model superhero. But she has a disgusting way of losing her super fat, she throws it all up. Monkey Joe says bulimia isn’t a funny, and that you should write in to complain about it.

This issue is doubly great, because Ultra is shown again! This time, yelling at Doorman to leave him alone. We then see a very angry leather wearing Doctor Doom seeking revenge on Squirrel Girl. Why? You’ll see in a bit.

Flatman tells Squirrel Girl that Grasshopper is still a viable name and the suit is still around, so the chances are, there will be a new one. Meanwhile, Doorman is making a wall to mark the fallen GLA members. He points out that their mortality rate is at 40%. That number will be rising, I’m sure.

Maelstrom explains his plans to Deathurge, which has always been a major problem with his character. He likes to talk. A lot. This time, he wants to destroy everything because he’ll live through it and he wants to find out what the great secret is. He’s lost his mind big time by this point.

Squirrel Girl points out that her and Monkey Joe beat Doctor Doom on their own and the team leaves Monkey Joe on monitor duty. As they leave, Doom waits outside the bushes.

Bertha relates a story about how the GLA once saved Christmas. Monkey Joe thinks that a flashback in a flashback is sloppy storytelling.

Possible line of the book. “Of course, we could never reverse time,” a doctor tells Flatman, “since it only flows in one direction.”

“And that’d be...?”

“Um, forward.”

“Ahhh.. Yes.”

Flatman and Doorman use strong arm tactics to figure out what Maelstrom had Batroc steal, at the same time that Monkey Joe got the information off the internet. The internet is a wonderful tool, isn’t it?

Doom sneaks into the base, breaks Mr. I’s neck, and squashes Monkey Joe! Bertha decides to stay with the team and goes back to base to tell them, only to find the horrible scene inside.

Monkey Joe is dead and therefore says nothing.

GLA 4
Countdown to a Miscount

They really like to poke fun at the other company with these titles.

Oh, and we find out that Monkey Joe was roasted alive and had unnatural acts done to him. I’m going to call him Monkey Dibny from now on.

Doorman is the narrative host for this issue, oh and he’s dead.

Flatman realized that Maelstrom could theoretically destroy the universe. And if they stopped him, they could theoretically be heroes. “Theoretical heroes,” Doorman said, “Our specialty.”

Turns out the Doom who broke into the base, wasn’t Doom, it was Leather Boy who was angry that the GLA didn’t ask him to rejoin the team.

When Deathurge comes to get Monkey Joe, he’s in squirrel form, which is all the advantage that Mr. I needs to put a major hurting on him.

While the fight is going on, Flatman comes out about being gay to the rest of the team. Deathurge tells Craig that he will never die. And that he’ll be the only one to know the true secret. That was Homo Supreme! When he tells the rest of the team, Flatman says “Always have to one up me, don’t you?”

Maelstrom erected a impenetrable force field around him, and there is only one way in. Doorman uses himself as a door to get Mr. I through the field, thus killing them both.

Mr. I is forced to try to trick Maelstrom into killing himself, while Oblivion has an important job for Doorman, he is to become the new Deathurge. Of course, when Mr. I comes back to life, he stops the machine, and the GLA has just saved the day!

Doorman comes back to rejoin the team, and they get a cease and desist order from the Avengers. That’s when they realize that all five of them are mutants, so they become the Great Lakes X-Men!

The End.

This was just fun, and a wonderful satire about the current state of comics. In short, if you want to read everything that’s wrong with the industry today in a funny manner, check this book out. It’s easily one of my favorite miniseries of all time. I rank it a 8 out of 10. What else is there? Check back later and find out.

Next time? If I can get to it tomorrow, it’ll be Gravity, if not, it’ll be Monday. I know you are all eagerly awaiting my opinions on this.

Batman Hush

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 20:42:22 GMT

This is just the general run by of Hush, issue by issue.

Batman: Hush
written by Jeph Loeb
Art by Jim Lee

Batman 608
Hush Chapter 1: The Ransom

Recap: Basic story is that a boy from a rich family was kidnaped by Killer Croc. He asked for a ransom, and everyone wanted to pay it, but Batman. So they lured Croc away with the money in a briefcase, while Batman ripped through his underlings and freed the kid. Then Croc appeared and fought Batman, who of course won. While the fight was going on, Catwoman stole the money, and Batman chased her down. However, his batline was cut, and he fell down into the streets of Gotham, leaving Catwoman to give the money to the true mastermind behind all this, Poison Ivy.

My thoughts: Why does Batman need all this computer crap in his cowl? Wouldn’t that be awfully heavy? I prefer my Batman with a small amount of equipment, not a computer on his head. This issue read more like Dark Knight Returns than I’d like.

Batman 609
Hush Chapter 2: The Friend

And in this issue, Huntress has to rescue Batman, who is badly hurt. She succeeds in doing so and gets him in the Batmobile. He goes off to the Batcave, where Alfred works on trying to heal him, but the damage is far beyond his abilities. Batman, using Morse Code, recommends a character I’ve never heard of before, Thomas Elliot, who is a doctor. Gee, isn’t that convenient? Tommy rescues him, and we get a glimpse of the mysterious character known as Hush.

In short, I made my guess that Thomas Elliot was the main villain of the arc. We’ll see how right I am later. Oh, and they misused the word “irony” in this story. That bothers me badly.

Batman 610
Hush Chapter 3: The Beast

Tommy’s dad died in a car wreck when Bruce’s dad couldn’t save him, after Bruce promised Tommy that his dad would be fine. And suddenly, we have a reason for him to dislike Bruce and want to go through all this trouble to kill him. Also, Batman finds out that Catwoman was not responsible for her actions, and that Croc wanted the money to get himself fixed up. Amanda Waller shows up, yadda yadda yadda, someone blows the tire off the Batmobile... and then Batman and Catwoman kiss.

Note, that last bit is disorganized just a hair, but that’s basically the entire issue. The story is progressing nicely, but there is still no major swerve here, and I really doubt there will be.

Batman 611
Hush Chapter 4: The City

This issue showed Bruce’s earlier adventure in Metropolis with Tommy. It was decent groundwork. Batman and Catwoman tracks down Poison Ivy, and just when it looks like they were going to take her down, Ivy unveils her new champion, Superman! Next issue, Batman vs. Superman!

Very cool things in this issue? Batman believes that Gordon knows his true ID and that Perry White knows Superman’s. This is easily the best issue of the bunch. We’ll see how it goes from here.

Batman 612
Hush Chapter 5: The Battle

I love these chapters, simplicity at it’s finest. Batman wins the battle, but only because Catwoman kidnaps Lois Lane and almost kills her. Superman and Batman works out an interesting idea to track down Ivy, they use Krypto the Superdog to find her. At the end of the issue, they are no closer to knowing who is behind this than they were at the start.

I find it interesting that Batman wins in the short term, but he knows that Superman would win in the long term. It sounds right to me, and it can keep both sides of the fight happy.

Batman 613
Hush Chapter 6: The Opera

Batman, Tommy, and Selina are at the opera. Harley Quin interrupts it for an armed robbery. Hijinks ensue. She mentions that she has a part to play and wants to kill Batman even if it goes against the book. She leaves after hurting Catwoman, and Batman chases after her. There is a gun shot, and Tommy lays in the alley with a bullet hole, the Joker above him.

Another decent issue.

Next issue: the Joker and Batman, duh.

Batman 614
Hush Chapter 7: The Joke

This is a simple issue of Batman trying to decide if he should kill the Joker. For the Joker’s part, he claims that he is innocent of killing Tommy, but Batman doesn’t seem to care. Neither Harley Quinn or Catwoman can stop him, and just before he’s about to kill the Joker, Jim Gordon appears and convinces Batman to not kill the Joker. Gordon promised that if Batman kills the Joker, than Gordon will hunt Batman down himself.

At the end, the masked figure flips a two headed dollar coin that is disfigured on one side. “He is innocent. Get the joke?”

So the masked man seems to be Two-Face. This issue was the best of the bunch thus far.

Batman 615
Hush Chapter 8: The Dead

Riddler has been left out from being bettered. Not that I’ve really seen anyone be bettered in this book, villain wise, but Riddler wasn’t at all. Makes me think that he has a much bigger role to play. Two Face is fixed, apparently, and knows that the Joker is innocent and has gotten him off. The big issue here is that the Lazarus Pit has been mentioned and that means that Ra’s Al Ghul is coming in soon.

Big issue this time, Bruce revealed who he was to Selina, who wasn’t that surprised.

This issue has been a major step down from others.

Batman 616
Hush Chapter 9: The Assassins

Batman kidnaps Talia from a Lexcorp jet to lure out Ra’s. When he finds Ra’s, they have a fight and Ra’s drops a major clue. “Who in your life would want to come back to life.” Maybe Tommy isn’t as dead as one would think?

Also on the undercard, Catwoman fights Lady Shiva and loses, big time.

This issue is a lot of “Eh”

Batman 617
Hush: Chapter 10: The Grave.

In this issue, Robin and Catwoman have a bit of a skirmish, but the real fight is between the Huntress and Catwoman. Turns out, Huntress betrayed Batman, but no one is certain who too. When Scarecrow shows up, Batman beats him. Scarecrow remarks that Batman’s mind must be under the influence of someone else. Suddenly, Robin is shown being a hostage of Hush, who takes off his mask to reveal that he’s Jason Todd.

It’s not really Jason Todd, he doesn’t come back until he’s the Red Hood, but that’s another bad story. This story was okay at best.

Batman 618
Hush Chapter 11: The Game

This is a basic battle between “Jason Todd” and Batman. At the end of the fight, Jason turns out to be made out of clay. And that brings about Clayface into the game. We do find out who betrayed Batman, and that was Harold, the man who helped make all the computers in the Batcave. Before Harold could tell who it was that he gave the information to, Hush kills him. Next issue, Hush vs. Batman.

This issue was bad.

Batman 619
Hush Chapter 12: The End

Aptly named, no? We find out that Hush really is Tommy Elliot (that was not hard to see) and that he was mad that Bruce’s dad saved Tommy’s mom. He wanted the money from the inheritance. Harvey Dent and Gordon show up to help Batman, and Harvey shoots Hush. Harvey reveals that he was the one who shot the fake Tommy. Superman finds that Batman has a homing beacon in his head, and melts it.

And the big person behind all this? The Riddler! He discovered who Batman was, and worked with the rest of the Rogues to get after him. However, he couldn’t tell anyone that he knew, because then the riddle was worthless. And just to reset the status quo, Catwoman and Batman end their relationship....

In short, this didn’t do much other than reveal that the Riddler and Catwoman knows who Batman is. This entire arc is rated a 6 out of 10.

Tommorow, depending on my papers, the GLA mini series from Marvel.

Let me know what ya'll think.

Bob's daily (or so) reviews

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 00:50:05 GMT

I haven't used this for anything, so I've decided I'm going to do an X-Axis sort of thing, and review comics as their arcs are done. If you want something good similar to this, go to www.thexaxis.com and read that stuff. Note, for the start of this, I'm going to do just short story arcs that I've collected and miniseries.

Batman: Hush is up first. May get to that tonight, maybe tomorrow.

Stand Back!

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 01:41:53 GMT

I want the Hurricane's action figure. Ryan, why don't you see if you can get that for me?

Altmarvel

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 22:59:49 GMT

The board is basically dying, and I'm lacking the energy I had previous to this to write for it. I'm more interested in my orginal stories than anything Altmarvelish right now.

Since everyone else seems to be abandoning it, I feel like crap. I'm gonna give this a week, and see if it doesn't go away.

Guess we'll see.

Today's topic?

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 20:35:47 GMT

The Hurricane (wrestler)? Nope. Hurricane Katrina, that seems to be on everyone's lips... everyone's but mine. Gas prices? That's too depressing to talk about. Women's shoes? Why would I talk about that?

Nope, today, you are in for a treat... fantasy football!

The Mad Hookers have their first match on the 11th, and we are itching for a fight. Hell, I got two out of my top three draft picks, Payton Manning and Chad Johnson. Combined with Hines Ward, the Patriots D and Vanderjagt, I think I have a hellacious team. Everyone else seems to be bitching about theirs, but not me. Not everyone's favorite Hooker.

People been hounding me for an update

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 03:58:37 GMT

here it is, this year is officially the worst year of my life. Today just sent it over the top.

It should be noted, I am now operating under "ask me questions, I'll tell you no lies."

And the day after

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 03:35:04 GMT

If only I could write stuff as interesting as my life has been the past bit.

Here it is for ya'll, the report on the date.

She remembered me the moment that she saw me. That's a major yay!

Has a boyfriend, not a huge surprise. I've been calling it a date just for simple terms, but that's not exactly what it was. I like to keep things simple. So simply put, this is a boo.

What was not expected. For her boyfriend to be a fucking asshole who needs to be casterated and then sent to the worst dungeon imaginable and tortured, very slowly, to death.

And before you just think I'm overexaggerating, he's hit her, twice. And for those who don't know me that well, this is one of those things that is inexcusable.

Quick details, she's moved away from him, and is questioning whether he is the right person for her. He is not, and that much is obvious, she deserves so much better than that. It's to the point where I don't necessarily want her with me (I do, don't get me wrong) as long as she is with someone who treats her like she deserves to be treated.

And for those of you who don't know me too well, I am not going anywhere. I'm part of this now, simply because I cannot back out of this. I can't stand down and pretend it hasn't happened, that's not who I am.

Mom says that I can't save everyone. I don't want to save everyone, I just want to save Angie. Dad says I shouldn't get involved. But we both know that I was raised differently, and I honestly believe he'd be disappointed in me if I did just back down.

I honestly don't know what to do. I can't just come into this girl's life after four years and expect to completly overhaul her life. And I sure as hell can't just sit back and do nothing. But I don't know what I can do. It's not like I have a wide variety of choices. I don't see a path in front of me, I don't know how to start one with this. I don't know what to do.

I want to save her, but what if she doesn't want saving? She's obviously not happy with things the way they are, but she's still with him. I don't get that mentality. She's a wonderfully smart woman, who uses the word asinine a bit too much for my tastes, but she doesn't seem to realize where this is going. has she never seen Life Tv? She's had a hard life, and she's done so much to fix it, but she isn't doing herself any favors by staying with this asshole.

I just don't get it... Angie is so sweet, how the hell could anyone ever want to hurt her? What kind of fucking creep would ever want to hurt someone like her. She's such an amazing person, and I can count the number of girls I've met like her on one hand...

If you have any ideas of what I can do, I am more than willing to listen to them, because I'm really in over my head here. This was not quite what I was expecting from all this. Right now, my entire strategy is the pray, and hope that God gives me some of His divine wisdom, because my limited intellegence is grasping for straws.

This is no evil twin, but still, a nice soap opera twist that I was not expecting. At least I understand this whim now. And if ya'll need me to explain that last bit to ya, ask, and I'll be more than willing to share my rather strange beliefs involving my whims.

Don't get too high on the bottle,
and get right with the man.
Fight your fights, find your grace
and all the things that you can't change,
and help somebody if you can

Date tommorow

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 02:42:01 GMT

Have a date tomorrow, the first one since December, and the first one with a girl I actually might care about since Tiffany. For those who don't know, here's the rundown.

Knew her in high school, haven't seen her since. Got this random idea to e-mail her, so I looked in the student directory, and low and behold, there was just the one. I emailed her, hoping it's the right one, and it is.... but she had a car wreck and can't remember me!

So, we know have a half blind date tomorrow. She told me she is wearing a tank top. I had the following conversation with one of my friends.

TheMadHooker (9:52:04 PM): she should not wear a tank top on the first date
TheMadHooker (9:52:30 PM): that's just asking me to look
Prindle I (9:52:30 PM): how's she supposed to know you're gonna have your head down her cleavage!
Prindle I (9:52:38 PM): i take it, then, that she has cleavage
TheMadHooker (9:52:39 PM): I have a penis!
Prindle I (9:52:41 PM): oh don't you start
TheMadHooker (9:52:48 PM): That's how she should know!~

Feel free to mock

Toys, gripes, and fanfic

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 18:24:28 GMT

Yes, a diverse selection of things to discuss today.

First of all toys.

The Local Wal Mart has been rerunning older Marvel Legends toys, so I got the Captain America and Iron Man from the first set and the Human Torch from the second set. Still need to get Wolverine from the third and sixth set, and Elektra and the Punisher from the fourth series. Also, the new series is coming out soon, the Sentinel series, so there are a lot of mutants in the next set, 1970's Cyclops, classic Angel, Mystique, Mister Sinister, Omega Red and the random Spider-Man and Black Panther.

At the WalMart in West Union, I found the Black Widow, so I picked her up. She is now in a rather fun pose. And I just realized, I am a giant dork.

Contuning on, I have a date this Friday with a girl I haven't seen since High School, and since I realize what a giant dork I am, I am not looking for any more, so this one has to go just right.

Moving on in my dorkiness, the newest Harry Potter book pissed me off something fierce. Personally, I felt it was very, very sloppy writing,but hey, my writing is put on free on a website and barely gets any hits, so maybe I'm just bitter. Oh well, she has one more book left. Personally, I don't think Harry is walking out of it.

Fanfic wise, I'm gonna get Scooby Doo 2 done tonight. Honestly, it's not something I would generally do, but I'm really digging this series. It's like, far out, man.

Joel roped me into finishing off the Iron Man series for Altmarvel, so issue 35 will be the last issue and written by everyone's favorite Hooker. Basically, I wrap up the basic story, and send Warwear on his way to the Legends.

Decided to give Kenn co-writing tag on Avalanche 2 and Dean the same deal for issue 3 and 4. Basically, I felt like they helped me out a lot, by adding stuff to my initial draft. Next issue is all mine though, Dominic is not hanging around any teams so I get to play him however I want.

Things you should be reading, Dean's Academy X, it's really a lot of fun, and Joel has a great concept character coming up in Captain Marvel Annual 2. Personally, I'd love to see a AMP style serial about this character. Honestly, it reminds me a lot of something I'd create. Maybe I can nab him for the Legends later...

I'm done, be back Wednesday with my comic news and what not/

Avalanche 1

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 21:39:49 GMT

I'm generally not one to toot my own horn, but Avalanche 1 is easily the best thing that I have written for Altmarvel, and quite possibly the best thing I have ever written. If this doesn't get me noticed by the fanfic community, then nothing will. In which case, I know that I don't have to worry about it at all then, and everything will be fine. Fame is a fickle friend. Mostly because if anyone reads any of my other stuff, they'll know it was all just luck with Avalanche.

I am gonna try to update more often, but we'll see how that goes.

The Legends 9

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 23:35:29 GMT

Well, I finished the Legends 9, and it's the first issue I'm really proud of for a while. I didn't struggle at all to write this issue, and every scene moves the plot along. I've set Battlestar, Micromax, Squirrel Girl, and Cardinal up on a meeting to actually get around to forming the team. I've set up the two big villians for the next year, Plant Man and Kledon Armas Perast. And Harlequin has a mystery person show up at the end that's gonna play a big role for the next arc.

I am wholly excited about the entire thing.

I just reread over this, and I sound pathetic. Sheesh, I almost sound familar...

Dan made me

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 00:02:53 GMT

Quick update since ya'll ain't heard from me in a dog's age. Nothing really important to say. Wal-Mart is selling some older Marvel Legends toys, so now I have Captain America and Iron Man from series one and the Human Torch from series two.

I finished BC 16. Prom issue with special guest star at the end.

Like I said, nothing to say, ya'll.

New Comic book updates

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 23:58:22 GMT

Hey ya'll. Not only will this clue you in on what I bought but what I've thought on new comics.

But first, news!

I've bought two new toys in the recent past, Darth Tater and War Machine from the Galactus line. I now have all of the toys in that series.

If you all check out this live journal, but not Meri's you are missing out. Seriously, check that site out, he proves on a daily basis how he is waaaay smarter than I am. Even with his munchkin taking up his time. I am officially stupid. Oh well.

I'll be finishing BC 15 this weekend and I will be glad to have it done. It will suck to high Heaven but it wraps up the rather weak storyline. I'll be thankful that next issue is with his friends and family instead of dealing with villians much. It's also the crossover with Captain America, and that means that I might just let Omar take over most of the fighting stuff. He'll have to end the crossover anyways.

Avalanche 3 will guest star X-Force, and I have a fun interaction with Cable planned. This series is a lot of fun.

Legends 8, I feel like I'm running out of steam on this series. When I hit issue 13, it'll change around, but writing each issue like it was five different series takes it out of me.

Onto the comics!

Cable and Deadpool 13. This is a back issue, but this series kicks mucho ass. Deadpool playing detective is fun, and I think I'd have a great time writing a Deadpool series. Maybe after Avalanche? I enjoy how the supporting cast tosses Deadpool away from the main crime by giving him "busy work" to keep him away from it.

Best line was after he decided to attack a mosque to solve the murder. "I mean, why let statistics, truth and reality cloud my judgement? I'm not gonna be some pansy liberal."

Cable and Deadpool 16. New issue alert! Opening page confused me a bit. Is Siryn and Cannonballs a couple now? (If you read this series, you'll get that joke.) I like how Deadpool reacts to Cable's dream come true. "Boring" and "No life."

This book is great because there was a little Cable in (double meaning for those who read the book) and I'm a huge fan of Deadpool.

Best part of the book?

"Funny. Hit a new world and my first thought is 'Cable took it over.' Wonder if that means anything to the themes and subtext of the story? Probably not."

Day of Vengeance 3. Series is half way done, and we get an interesting stalling technique. Captain Marvel is taking on the Spectre, and four of the Mystical Six or whatever they call themselves (my vote is for The Oblivion Bar's All-Star Discount Hero Squad and Goodtime Traveling Bingo Show. You can never have too much bingo)has to beat Eclipso in hopes that it'll bring Spectre back to his senses. They apparently kill Eclipso (don't bet on it) and Enchantress funnels magic from all over the DCU into Captain Marvel to pound on the Spectre. Personally, I think Enchantress will go corrupt with power and that'll lead to another fight.

And everything hinges on Lori Zechlin? Black Alice? Okay, let's see what happens.

This is the best of the three mini series that I'm getting from Countdown.

GLA 3. Book of the week. Again. Nothing has knocked this down. Not even the death of.... Monkey Joe.

But this is book of the month due to a special two panel appearance by CAPTAIN ULTRA! Seriously, when this man turns you down, your group sucks. This story is told through Big Bertha's view point, and it shows how she loses her additional weight. She throws it up. Disgusting, no?

Doctor Doom shows up in his Mystical armor to kill Monkey Joe. Man, this guy has fallen a bit, hasn't he? Killing squirrels? It's kinda sad to see such a good villian fall so hard.

there were a lot of good lines, but my favorite was with Flatman and a doctor.

Doctor: Of course, we could never reverse time, since it only flows in one direction?
Flatman: And that'd be...?
Doctor: Uhm... forward.
Flatman: Ah yes.

Hercules 3. This book is very solid, but relies too much on Hercules just happening to lucking through the tasks. I know that was the concept of the entire thing, but still, it seemed a bit overboard to me. Though there was the greatest fight I've seen the Abomination in. He's talking smack about Hercules. Herk says "Excuse me" and hits Abomination with a lamp post. Match over. Herk wins.

Invinsible 0. It was free and a quick run of the issues in the past. Seems like a cool series, I might pick it up on a more normal basis.

JLA Classified 8. Decent. I think this series is losing steam. I don't know if Giffen and Dematteis is trying ot force something or not. Guess we'll see what the last issue brings.

Mickey Mouse and Friends 278. I got if for the baby cousin, haven't read it, but it seems cool. Written by Walt Disney and put out in 1949 with no ads, this felt like a real treat. Of course, the cover has NOTHING to do with the story inside. Or at least what I've seen flipping through it.

Rankings:
GLA 3
Day of Vengeance 3
Cable and Deadpool 13
Cable and Deadpool 16
Mickey Mouse and Friends 278 (it was by Walt, it had to be high ranking)
Hercules 3
Invincible 0
JLA Classified 8

Fanfic updates

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:08:01 GMT

Finished off Avalanche 2 and Scooby Doo 1 and have gotten good intial reviews for both. Kenn and Meri are both really liking the Av series, and Meri and Joel both think that the Scooby stuff may be some of my best thus far. I just hope that I can keep the momentum up. I honestly don't know where the Scooby Doo series is really going. I have some rough ideas, but nothing solid yet.

I have the chance to do a Blue Beetle/Booster Gold series... not certain if I'll have the time or the story to tell here. Guess we'll see.

Currently working on issue 15 of the Blue Cyclone. Not sure if people will like it. First part is continuing the Scorpion's story, a page on Silverclaw and Decipher, and then a page of Chester Arther. Sam is in less than half of the story proper.

I've just read Omar's Defenders 51. It was written when he was half asleep, but it looks like it's gonna be really good when he finishes it off. And I just read Meri's Brother Voodoo 13. No matter how good I feel that my Av and Scooby stuff is, I just can't compete yet with his stuff. Trust me, if you aren't reading his stuff, stop reading my crap and read his. Especially issues 1-6. Personally, issues 7-12 seemed a bit off for me. His next story is only three issues long, I'm thinking the change in pace might help him out a bit.

I also read Mick's Titans 2. I think once he gets the team in place that he wants and settles down a bit in his writing, it'll come along quite nicely.

Am I missing anything? Not much, but I will say this. Meri has his own live journal now! If you wanna let him know whatcha think of his stuff, drop him a line.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/meriadesrai/

Generally not what I do, but this one seemed fun

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:35:36 GMT

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

</td>

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

64%

Classical Liberal

61%

Emergent/Postmodern

57%

Modern Liberal

57%

Neo orthodox

50%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

Fundamentalist

32%

Reformed Evangelical

29%

Roman Catholic

18%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Personally, the Roman Catholic thing seems rather high to me.

new Comics

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 03:28:02 GMT

First off, talking about my work.

Avalanche 2 has been posted on the draft boards. I hope Meri likes it enough. Kenn seemed to. Joel will hate it.

Scooby Doo 1 has been written, and anyone who's talked to me knows how excited I am about this book. And it came out exactly how I wanted it to. I hope issue two is just as fun. This is basically my fun play it by ear book. I really don't know exactly what's going to happen, but it'll be fun to get there.

Now it's onto comic reviews.

Exiles 65. This came out last week, but the Kentucky shipment was lost for a day. It basically was the last issue of the "have to go around and save things at random" arc. Beak saved the day by bringing in two other Hyperion's? Really? That counts? Oh well, we'll see where the book goes from here.

Gravity 1.

I can't say enough good things about this book, but it made me realize just how badly I screwed up the begining of the Blue Cyclone. Oh well, I'll continue with my run as is.

Gravity kicks ass. He punches Rage in his first outing, and Rage makes it out to be a racial thing. Maybe it is, but you show me a large guy wearing that mask and spikes, I don't think hero myself. Would it be different if he was white? Probably not.

Then Gravity help steal a car. Oh yeah, we've all been there.... right? Please tell me I am not the only one....

My favorite part was this exchange between an old woman and Gravity.

"You know, you have a lovely costume, young man."
"Oh. Uh.... thank you."
"Super heroes these days, you can't tell if they're the good people or not, with all that armor and those pointy shoulder pads..."

I have to say this, AMEN! Ghost Rider pops up, BC is gonna go after him.

Green Arrow 51. This was a quick fill in issue staring Anarchy. Nothing wonderful happens, especially after the end of the last issue, but it was a solid fill in issue.

JLA 115: For a book that was supposed to be a big deal, it really left me underwhelmed. I would've prefered a simple character driven story, but I didn't get that. Instead, there is a big fight with a bunch of villians I don't know. I think Johns could have done better.

JSA 74: Speaking of Johns doing better...

This book is part two of the sequel to Black Reign. It's chugging along nicely, nothing of any real importance going on. He mixes it up between character driven stories and big action stories, but the cast is sooooo large, it's hard to figure out what's what. This story, as far as I can tell, takes place between Captain Marvel's appearances in Superman and Day of Vengeance. Though you would have no idea that's true had you not read all of them.

DC needs to let us know a read order on this.

New Warriors 1.

The art looks like crap on a stick. It would work well for a cartoon in the same manner of Teen Titans, but it lacks something in a comic book. Overall, I love the premise. That there's a roving team of heroes to try to protect the whole country and not just New York. Tons of questions for the series to answer.

Since when is Dwyane broke? Why is Microbe on the team? Why is Nita blue again? But Wells has proven to be a good writer, and I trust him to handle this.

Love this line here:

Nova: What was that all about?
Thrasher: That was business. Don't worry about it.
Nova: Are you telling us everything there is to know here, Thrasher?
Nita: Oh, of course he is. When has Dwayne been anything but totally forthcoming with us?

Major problem is, what is the deal with Night Thrasher? He looks like a cross between Batman, Multiple Man, Gambit and Mockingbird. At least, it's unique.

Thunderbolts 9

This was a great issue, and had Gravity not came out, it would've easily been the best issue in the bunch. It was a Radioactive Man spotlight issue. Would he save Atlantis or let it die? Well, he saved Atlantis, but he showed he was still a villian at heart. I know his method of dealing with the problems was not what Abe wanted.

My favorite line of the week came from here. Photon (Genis) vs. Photon (Monica)

Monica: Genis! You stole my name! AGAIN!
Genis: Monica! I didn't know!
Monica: You were with my when I chose it!!!

Sadly, Genis gets his damned way again and stole another name from Monica. Now she is using a much clunkier Pulsar code name. And here I was wanting her to just open up and smear Genis across the Eastern Seaboard. Oh well...

At the end of the issue, Radioactive Man has dealt with the Atlantians. Last two pages had the Purple Man ready to rape Songbird just in time for the Swordsman to arrive and stab him in the back.

Is this a set up? I don't know, I don't write the title.

List from best to worse
Gravity 1
Thunderbolts 9
New Warriors 1
Green Arrow 51
JSA 74
Exiles 65
JLA 115

Scooby Dooby New?

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 21:20:19 GMT

And my latest task? Scooby Doo. I know, it doesn't seem at all like something I would write, but I LOVE that stupid dog. My take? The gang is grown up, and not been doing this for awhile. I'm sure the rest of AMU isn't gonna like it, but I will!

It'll be grand, just ya'll wait and see!

BWA HA HA HA HA!

It's been a while

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:05:01 GMT

But I did not forget about you, my brethern. I hope you remembered to bring ice cream to this little jaunt.

Tons of new stuff since the last time I said anything about it. I got the new Cowboy Troy cd. It's okay, but it was the Muzik Mafia, so I had to buy it. I like people trying new things, so kudos to him.

Got a bunch of new comics, nothing worth getting overly excited about.

Finished the Legends 7 and Avalanche 2. Legends 7 was apparently liked better than I thought it would be. I personally felt it was kinda flat.

Av 2 wasn't as powerful as the first issue, but I still thought it was damned good.

Few Words

Wed, 18 May 2005 01:55:55 GMT

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I am getting started with issue 7 of the Legends. Should be fun. I need to write up another scene for BC 13, so I'm gonna be working on that tonight too.

Went flea marketing yesterday, and got a bunch new Teen Titans comics. That collection is coming along nicely.