bob_lot (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bob_lot) wrote,@ 2005-10-19 23:06:00 |
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GLA
GLA
Written by Dan Slott
Art by Paul Pelletier
GLA 1
Great Lakes Avengers Disassembled
The cover is a mock up of the New Avengers cover, with the characters in the background. Mister Immortal is being struck by lightning. Wonderful stuff.
Starts off with Squirrel Girl giving us the Marge Simpson thing before the Halloween Specials. “Bad stuff happens here, you’ve been warned” bit. Grasshopper shows up and says that most of the readers of this book aren’t children but overweight men in their thirties living in their parents’ basement. We also get our first glimpse of Monkey Joe Says... Wonderful start for a book.
We start with Mister Immortal shooting himself on July 13th at 5:28 P.M. The End of Everything. In the background, Flatman is being pulled into a portal, his hands around Big Bertha. This is the basic origin story of Mister Immortal and it involves Deathurge. Monkey Joe says child endangerment isn’t funny, but I have to disagree.
Immortal’s life has sucked. Everyone he’s loved has died, so he decided to jump to his death. That didn’t work, so he tried other ways to kill himself, needless to say, he’s a slow learner. Monkey Joe says that we should be happy with life and eat more nuts.
So after a disastrous first attempt at stopping a bank, Mr. I decided the best way to get this done is to form a team. So he puts in a want ad, and the Great Lakes Avengers apply, plus Leather Boy, who has no leather powers, he just misread the ad.
The team is in shambles, and anytime they try to get anywhere in their GLA Quin-Jetta (Monkey Joe says that a little product placement never hurt.) They find that “real” heroes have taken care of the problem, so they see themselves as jokes.
However, just when Mr. I was about to throw in the towel, Disassembled happened. “This’s awesome! We’re the Avengers now!” Glad someone liked that story arc...
They come up on Maelstrom trying to steal some “ten ton doohickey” but disaster happens, when Dinah Soar is killed. Once again, someone Mr. I loves is killed. And Monkey Joe warns us that next issue another member dies!
Overall, this issue was bad ass. I LOVE the GLA, and this issue, while making me sad over the death of Dinah, really gave a human touch to the characters. See Bendis, this is how you kill a character and make it mean something.
GLA 2
Dismembership Drive
Squirrel Girl appears again, this time to give a scathing reminder of a time when comic books were light hearted and happy. “Something to escape to, not from.” She warns us not to do anything Mr. I does in the comic, especially when he downloads stuff illegally from the internet. Monkey Joe says that stealing is bad, and if you download Marvel comics, they can sue you blind.
This story is told by Flatman, and it starts at Dinah Soar’s funeral. “I’m a Great Lakes Avengers and in the vast scheme of things, no one cares if we live or die.” Rather depressing start, no?
Deathurge shows up at Dinah’s funeral, which causes Mr. I to attack him. Of course, since the other three members of the team can’t see Deathurge, they assume that Craig has just lost his mind.
Elsewhere, Maelstrom is needing lackeys, and since his general ones aren’t available he calls Batroc the Leaper and his buddies.
Ashley realizes that she’s being wasted as a model is Wisconsin, and starts to question whether her ties to the GLA is worth her pathetic pay.
Back at base, Mister Immortal is downloading “One is the loneliest number” over and over again. 57 times, actually. Monkey Joe says “Friends don’t let friends play the Magnolia soundtrack.” Solid advice.
Doorman and Flatman decide to go to New York to recruit new members, where we meet Grasshopper who is a hero and a security guard for Roxxon. He runs into Batroc and his gang and takes the fight to them.
Flatman tries to recruit Swordsman onto the team, certain that is Hawkeye, because he read it on the internet. “I’m a mind controlled killer who could gut you at any moment!” “We’re not picky.” Priceless.
What follows is just about every hero in the city turning them down, from big namers like Wonder Man and Hercules all the way down to Captain Ultra and Brother Voodoo. When Ultra says no, you know you’ve hit a new bottom.
Wait, the next page, they get mugged, and Squirrel Girl comes in with Monkey Joe to rescue them. They ask her to join, and she says yes. These four then find Grasshopper in battle, and join in. They recruit him to the team, and within five panels he’s killed by Zaran. Monkey Joe says “Five point eight seconds, a new record...”
Doorman decides that the team sucks. Big time. And he’s right.
At the end of everything, Val decides that maybe the most heroic thing he can do, as he sucks Bertha into the portal with him, is just to let go, and he does.
Monkey Joe says that another member of the team dies next issue. And it better not be Squirrel Girl, that’s all he’s saying.
GLA 3
Mistaken Identity Crisis
Love the title just to start off.
Bertha and Squirrel Girl discuss the cavalier way in which women are raped and killed, a not so subtle blast at Identity Crisis.
Big Bertha is in charge of narration with this comic. She talks about how she is a model superhero. But she has a disgusting way of losing her super fat, she throws it all up. Monkey Joe says bulimia isn’t a funny, and that you should write in to complain about it.
This issue is doubly great, because Ultra is shown again! This time, yelling at Doorman to leave him alone. We then see a very angry leather wearing Doctor Doom seeking revenge on Squirrel Girl. Why? You’ll see in a bit.
Flatman tells Squirrel Girl that Grasshopper is still a viable name and the suit is still around, so the chances are, there will be a new one. Meanwhile, Doorman is making a wall to mark the fallen GLA members. He points out that their mortality rate is at 40%. That number will be rising, I’m sure.
Maelstrom explains his plans to Deathurge, which has always been a major problem with his character. He likes to talk. A lot. This time, he wants to destroy everything because he’ll live through it and he wants to find out what the great secret is. He’s lost his mind big time by this point.
Squirrel Girl points out that her and Monkey Joe beat Doctor Doom on their own and the team leaves Monkey Joe on monitor duty. As they leave, Doom waits outside the bushes.
Bertha relates a story about how the GLA once saved Christmas. Monkey Joe thinks that a flashback in a flashback is sloppy storytelling.
Possible line of the book. “Of course, we could never reverse time,” a doctor tells Flatman, “since it only flows in one direction.”
“And that’d be...?”
“Um, forward.”
“Ahhh.. Yes.”
Flatman and Doorman use strong arm tactics to figure out what Maelstrom had Batroc steal, at the same time that Monkey Joe got the information off the internet. The internet is a wonderful tool, isn’t it?
Doom sneaks into the base, breaks Mr. I’s neck, and squashes Monkey Joe! Bertha decides to stay with the team and goes back to base to tell them, only to find the horrible scene inside.
Monkey Joe is dead and therefore says nothing.
GLA 4
Countdown to a Miscount
They really like to poke fun at the other company with these titles.
Oh, and we find out that Monkey Joe was roasted alive and had unnatural acts done to him. I’m going to call him Monkey Dibny from now on.
Doorman is the narrative host for this issue, oh and he’s dead.
Flatman realized that Maelstrom could theoretically destroy the universe. And if they stopped him, they could theoretically be heroes. “Theoretical heroes,” Doorman said, “Our specialty.”
Turns out the Doom who broke into the base, wasn’t Doom, it was Leather Boy who was angry that the GLA didn’t ask him to rejoin the team.
When Deathurge comes to get Monkey Joe, he’s in squirrel form, which is all the advantage that Mr. I needs to put a major hurting on him.
While the fight is going on, Flatman comes out about being gay to the rest of the team. Deathurge tells Craig that he will never die. And that he’ll be the only one to know the true secret. That was Homo Supreme! When he tells the rest of the team, Flatman says “Always have to one up me, don’t you?”
Maelstrom erected a impenetrable force field around him, and there is only one way in. Doorman uses himself as a door to get Mr. I through the field, thus killing them both.
Mr. I is forced to try to trick Maelstrom into killing himself, while Oblivion has an important job for Doorman, he is to become the new Deathurge. Of course, when Mr. I comes back to life, he stops the machine, and the GLA has just saved the day!
Doorman comes back to rejoin the team, and they get a cease and desist order from the Avengers. That’s when they realize that all five of them are mutants, so they become the Great Lakes X-Men!
The End.
This was just fun, and a wonderful satire about the current state of comics. In short, if you want to read everything that’s wrong with the industry today in a funny manner, check this book out. It’s easily one of my favorite miniseries of all time. I rank it a 8 out of 10. What else is there? Check back later and find out.
Next time? If I can get to it tomorrow, it’ll be Gravity, if not, it’ll be Monday. I know you are all eagerly awaiting my opinions on this.
GLA
Written by Dan Slott
Art by Paul Pelletier
GLA 1
Great Lakes Avengers Disassembled
The cover is a mock up of the New Avengers cover, with the characters in the background. Mister Immortal is being struck by lightning. Wonderful stuff.
Starts off with Squirrel Girl giving us the Marge Simpson thing before the Halloween Specials. “Bad stuff happens here, you’ve been warned” bit. Grasshopper shows up and says that most of the readers of this book aren’t children but overweight men in their thirties living in their parents’ basement. We also get our first glimpse of Monkey Joe Says... Wonderful start for a book.
We start with Mister Immortal shooting himself on July 13th at 5:28 P.M. The End of Everything. In the background, Flatman is being pulled into a portal, his hands around Big Bertha. This is the basic origin story of Mister Immortal and it involves Deathurge. Monkey Joe says child endangerment isn’t funny, but I have to disagree.
Immortal’s life has sucked. Everyone he’s loved has died, so he decided to jump to his death. That didn’t work, so he tried other ways to kill himself, needless to say, he’s a slow learner. Monkey Joe says that we should be happy with life and eat more nuts.
So after a disastrous first attempt at stopping a bank, Mr. I decided the best way to get this done is to form a team. So he puts in a want ad, and the Great Lakes Avengers apply, plus Leather Boy, who has no leather powers, he just misread the ad.
The team is in shambles, and anytime they try to get anywhere in their GLA Quin-Jetta (Monkey Joe says that a little product placement never hurt.) They find that “real” heroes have taken care of the problem, so they see themselves as jokes.
However, just when Mr. I was about to throw in the towel, Disassembled happened. “This’s awesome! We’re the Avengers now!” Glad someone liked that story arc...
They come up on Maelstrom trying to steal some “ten ton doohickey” but disaster happens, when Dinah Soar is killed. Once again, someone Mr. I loves is killed. And Monkey Joe warns us that next issue another member dies!
Overall, this issue was bad ass. I LOVE the GLA, and this issue, while making me sad over the death of Dinah, really gave a human touch to the characters. See Bendis, this is how you kill a character and make it mean something.
GLA 2
Dismembership Drive
Squirrel Girl appears again, this time to give a scathing reminder of a time when comic books were light hearted and happy. “Something to escape to, not from.” She warns us not to do anything Mr. I does in the comic, especially when he downloads stuff illegally from the internet. Monkey Joe says that stealing is bad, and if you download Marvel comics, they can sue you blind.
This story is told by Flatman, and it starts at Dinah Soar’s funeral. “I’m a Great Lakes Avengers and in the vast scheme of things, no one cares if we live or die.” Rather depressing start, no?
Deathurge shows up at Dinah’s funeral, which causes Mr. I to attack him. Of course, since the other three members of the team can’t see Deathurge, they assume that Craig has just lost his mind.
Elsewhere, Maelstrom is needing lackeys, and since his general ones aren’t available he calls Batroc the Leaper and his buddies.
Ashley realizes that she’s being wasted as a model is Wisconsin, and starts to question whether her ties to the GLA is worth her pathetic pay.
Back at base, Mister Immortal is downloading “One is the loneliest number” over and over again. 57 times, actually. Monkey Joe says “Friends don’t let friends play the Magnolia soundtrack.” Solid advice.
Doorman and Flatman decide to go to New York to recruit new members, where we meet Grasshopper who is a hero and a security guard for Roxxon. He runs into Batroc and his gang and takes the fight to them.
Flatman tries to recruit Swordsman onto the team, certain that is Hawkeye, because he read it on the internet. “I’m a mind controlled killer who could gut you at any moment!” “We’re not picky.” Priceless.
What follows is just about every hero in the city turning them down, from big namers like Wonder Man and Hercules all the way down to Captain Ultra and Brother Voodoo. When Ultra says no, you know you’ve hit a new bottom.
Wait, the next page, they get mugged, and Squirrel Girl comes in with Monkey Joe to rescue them. They ask her to join, and she says yes. These four then find Grasshopper in battle, and join in. They recruit him to the team, and within five panels he’s killed by Zaran. Monkey Joe says “Five point eight seconds, a new record...”
Doorman decides that the team sucks. Big time. And he’s right.
At the end of everything, Val decides that maybe the most heroic thing he can do, as he sucks Bertha into the portal with him, is just to let go, and he does.
Monkey Joe says that another member of the team dies next issue. And it better not be Squirrel Girl, that’s all he’s saying.
GLA 3
Mistaken Identity Crisis
Love the title just to start off.
Bertha and Squirrel Girl discuss the cavalier way in which women are raped and killed, a not so subtle blast at Identity Crisis.
Big Bertha is in charge of narration with this comic. She talks about how she is a model superhero. But she has a disgusting way of losing her super fat, she throws it all up. Monkey Joe says bulimia isn’t a funny, and that you should write in to complain about it.
This issue is doubly great, because Ultra is shown again! This time, yelling at Doorman to leave him alone. We then see a very angry leather wearing Doctor Doom seeking revenge on Squirrel Girl. Why? You’ll see in a bit.
Flatman tells Squirrel Girl that Grasshopper is still a viable name and the suit is still around, so the chances are, there will be a new one. Meanwhile, Doorman is making a wall to mark the fallen GLA members. He points out that their mortality rate is at 40%. That number will be rising, I’m sure.
Maelstrom explains his plans to Deathurge, which has always been a major problem with his character. He likes to talk. A lot. This time, he wants to destroy everything because he’ll live through it and he wants to find out what the great secret is. He’s lost his mind big time by this point.
Squirrel Girl points out that her and Monkey Joe beat Doctor Doom on their own and the team leaves Monkey Joe on monitor duty. As they leave, Doom waits outside the bushes.
Bertha relates a story about how the GLA once saved Christmas. Monkey Joe thinks that a flashback in a flashback is sloppy storytelling.
Possible line of the book. “Of course, we could never reverse time,” a doctor tells Flatman, “since it only flows in one direction.”
“And that’d be...?”
“Um, forward.”
“Ahhh.. Yes.”
Flatman and Doorman use strong arm tactics to figure out what Maelstrom had Batroc steal, at the same time that Monkey Joe got the information off the internet. The internet is a wonderful tool, isn’t it?
Doom sneaks into the base, breaks Mr. I’s neck, and squashes Monkey Joe! Bertha decides to stay with the team and goes back to base to tell them, only to find the horrible scene inside.
Monkey Joe is dead and therefore says nothing.
GLA 4
Countdown to a Miscount
They really like to poke fun at the other company with these titles.
Oh, and we find out that Monkey Joe was roasted alive and had unnatural acts done to him. I’m going to call him Monkey Dibny from now on.
Doorman is the narrative host for this issue, oh and he’s dead.
Flatman realized that Maelstrom could theoretically destroy the universe. And if they stopped him, they could theoretically be heroes. “Theoretical heroes,” Doorman said, “Our specialty.”
Turns out the Doom who broke into the base, wasn’t Doom, it was Leather Boy who was angry that the GLA didn’t ask him to rejoin the team.
When Deathurge comes to get Monkey Joe, he’s in squirrel form, which is all the advantage that Mr. I needs to put a major hurting on him.
While the fight is going on, Flatman comes out about being gay to the rest of the team. Deathurge tells Craig that he will never die. And that he’ll be the only one to know the true secret. That was Homo Supreme! When he tells the rest of the team, Flatman says “Always have to one up me, don’t you?”
Maelstrom erected a impenetrable force field around him, and there is only one way in. Doorman uses himself as a door to get Mr. I through the field, thus killing them both.
Mr. I is forced to try to trick Maelstrom into killing himself, while Oblivion has an important job for Doorman, he is to become the new Deathurge. Of course, when Mr. I comes back to life, he stops the machine, and the GLA has just saved the day!
Doorman comes back to rejoin the team, and they get a cease and desist order from the Avengers. That’s when they realize that all five of them are mutants, so they become the Great Lakes X-Men!
The End.
This was just fun, and a wonderful satire about the current state of comics. In short, if you want to read everything that’s wrong with the industry today in a funny manner, check this book out. It’s easily one of my favorite miniseries of all time. I rank it a 8 out of 10. What else is there? Check back later and find out.
Next time? If I can get to it tomorrow, it’ll be Gravity, if not, it’ll be Monday. I know you are all eagerly awaiting my opinions on this.
